Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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