i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
