It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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