Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
