Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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