Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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