do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
