He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
