return my video game
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize