Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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