how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
