If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
