If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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