they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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