At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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