The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
