Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
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