just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
