why didn't you poke me back
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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