I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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