so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Is her dick bigger than yours?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
