At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
