this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
