I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
we should paint friendship bongs
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