Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize