woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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