I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
