forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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