1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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