I wanna passion pit in your ass
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
