Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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