just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
