Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
