You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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