windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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