dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
