but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
love makes seman taste better
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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