My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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