I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
