Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
