I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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