so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize