does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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