Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
