I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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