so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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