Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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