can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
My feet surprised me
Randomize