Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
