Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
