ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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