he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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