Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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