i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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