He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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