I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Umm I'm too high to move.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
