He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
