So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
